Thoughts about Sleeplessness

 Hey, I know it's been a long, long time since I last posted anything. But this post is going to one of the last posts of the year 2021. Ciao 2021 ! This post is going to be a rant about a few observations of mine about sleeplessness and how it affects your mental wellbeing as a whole.

So there are obviously some myths and some pre conceptions about being sleepless. Some of them are true, but most of them have not been experienced by us. There was even a crazy urban myth about "The Russian Sleep Experiment" but I think it is a sham. The technical for not able to fall asleep is called insomnia. And...this is not a new thing, it was there since our ancestors were present. There are multiple documentations of sleeplessness from times unknown.

 We have not been truly sleepless. Yes sure, we lose about 5- 10 hours of sleep but no longer. Usually, it doesn't cause not any physical problem to a person, but more the deterioration of the brain which is not a good thing. But personally, apart from other people, this post is going to be about my experience. You may thing that..."nah, this guy is boring, he hasn't even experienced true sleeplessness", and that's true. But this is more a personal observations about the general nature of a human being when he is sleepless. And No, I don't have insomnia xD.

Firstly, needless to say, I am a dead man when I am sleepless. No thinking, no intuition, no rationality in any sense. But being mindless and staying alive. To be more 'rational', I have a loss of cognitive function, feelings of powerlessness and an unrest state of mind. I am not saying these states are bad. But these states of mind are not who I am. We, don't know how sleep works, but we seem to easily recognize a lack of it. If you think of sleeplessness in that way, it is sure ironical.

Others things...that are only personal to me include thinking about mortality. Most people face a derivative of this problem :  they'd rather think about their future, their current status, their financial position or something like that. But I think, death is unique.....and everyone should think about death more often. It is like, a person unlocks a state of mind completely different that what he or she usually is. It is more like....the repressed, cynical state of mind comes into play. 

There is a person in everyone who is 'The Cynic'. He doesn't wish anything better for us. He doesn't want us to win. He just...wants to criticize people. He.....is 'the devil' in a form. It is a interesting viewpoint where nothing makes sense, but everything you see is self criticized. A unique perspective.

The second thing that I feel is the usual meaningless in everything in what I do or say. I mean sure, we can be nihilistic, but that is too far isn't it? No....you can call it "the search for meaning in life". It is a good thing, because without the 'self introspection' ... man falls into a pit of rat race without knowing what he really wants to achieve. Sometimes, the meaningless turns into worthlessness, but it's okay. Not everything has to be sunshine and butterflies all the time. The truth is, we are born in a uncaring universe as a by-product of the laws of physics, and we are as disposable as the water we wash our hands with.

Sometimes I think, that being in such a rancid state of mind, sure affects by brain, but it is important we go through with it. Because without it, we go through our lives like zombies, never really questioning the meaning and who we are and the meaningless of everything else.

Wow! This turned from a post about sleeplessness to a post of nihilism yeah?😂. But anyways, hope you gained some perspective reading this. I hope this is feeds your food for thought today. 

Ciao!